Alias

If you ask Chad, he will tell you that I went to the wrap party as his guest. If you ask my family, friends and others I have been able to lie convincingly to, they will say Chad is wrong. To them, my presence was specifically requested by the powers that be upon reviewing the surpising, scene stealing (no matter that there were no other actors in the scene) portrayal of the brilliant, yet emotionally stunted and porn-obsessed FBI medical examiner. Seriously people, I was that good.

We drove down to Hollywood, arriving at the Roosevelt Hotel at about 8:30 or so. The venue couldn't have been more appropriate. For those unfamiliar, the Roosevelt Hotel has been a landmark in Hollywood, one of the few remaining artifacts of Tinseltown at its elegant finest and birthplace of the Academy Awards. The interior was typical of the multitude of glamorous Alias sets and the ballroom was tastefully adorned with only two large, framed Alias posters, one featuring the iconic Sydney Bristow in long red wig. Very classy...and all the fucking alcohol you could consume for free! That's a freakin' par-tay!

We had some trouble locating the room initially, following pretty shitty directions, but we came upon two rather large men who stood guard at the entrance to one of the rooms. "We're looking for the La-de-da Room," Chad said to one of the men. "This is it," he repied curtly. Chad and I looked at each other, nodded and proceeded to walk into the room, but the man refused to step out of the way. "Can I help you?" he asked. Well, I thought it was pretty fucking obvious. Get your goon ass out of the way because my powers of phasing through solid objects is on the blink for the night; it shorts out when it's raining. Was he stupid or something?

We got sent back to the check in table to get the designated wrist bands and the goon stepped aside on our second attempt at passing. I guess I can't be too upset. I mean, my episode of Alias hasn't aired yet, so it was possible that he didn't recognize me.

But that wasn't the only annoyance of the evening. Everyone was standing during J.J. Abrams and JenGa's speech (I like to call her JenGa cause if JLo can have a street name, Jennifer Garner most certainly can. Am I the only one who'd love to see JenGa kick JLo's fat ass?). Anyway, as they stood on stage introducing the gag reel, I was standing with my hand holding onto the back of one of the chairs, sort of holding up some of my weight on my outstretched arm. I could totally see why (at least until the Ben Affleck thing) she was America's sweetheart. She's got the whole girl next door thing down pat. And yes she said she loved me! Eat that Ben Affleck, although technically she said "I love you guys," but by "you guys" she meant me.

Well, as she was going through her speech, and I was rapt in the beauty that is JenGa, I almost lost my balance. Someone pulled the chair out from under my hand like a fucking asshole. I turned around to find out who had the audacity, thinking to myself "who the fuck..." And you know who was "who the fuck"? Well who else could it be. It was Ben Affleck. That bitch took my goddamn chair, obviously because of the public lovin' I was getting from JenGa. I let it go because, honestly, he wasn't looking all that great. Someone had to lose some pregnancy fat...and it wasn't JenGa.

How could she have ever left Michael Vartan for tubby anyway. And speaking of Michael Vartan... You know when someone just catches your eye, and it seems as though your vision goes from wide angle to extreme close up, and during the transition, everything and everyone blurs out of focus the way stars do in Star Wars or Star Trek when they jump into hyperdrive? Well, that didn't happen, but I did stalk see Michael Vartan throughout the night. Three words--Ayche. Oh. Tee. Hot! What was JenGa thinking?

I saw a lot of the cast there. I even spoke briefly to Francie. Love that character. It was such a great thing for a freaky Alias fan like myself. I mean seriously, how lucky am I? To have followed and loved this show from the beginning and then on its last season, be able to be an extra in it and then go to the wrap party? Yeah pretty lucky. But the truly lucky thing about my life are the people with whom I've been fortunate enough to surround myself.

Thanks, Chad. But again, if anyone else asks, you had nothing to do with my getting into that party...cause I will cut you.

Comments

[Dutchimport]

V, you're so cute! I love your writing! And YES, you are very lucky to have been on this show, and go to the wrap party! Not jealous at all! AAAGHHHH#$@@#%^&^*&%$#!

[M@]

does this mean you're too cool to hang out with me now?

[Chef Dean]

The rest of us want to imbibe in your coolness, but we need to know when that episode will air. I'll have to see it before I can nominate you for an Emmy, you know.

[dello]

Just this once I'll watch Alias. Wait,what channel and time is it on?

[iPhil]

Um, yeah, I read your blog all the time, but I barely comment, if ever. But I like people to know that I read their blogs, even if I don't consider myself to have anything interestingly relevant to say.

Keep well.

iPhil

[Van]

DI-if you want you can be my guest at the Emmys ;)

M@-you've misinterpreted the whole thing. Of course that's not what it means. What it means is that I'm too cool to hang with everyone, not just you.

CD & d-not sure when it'll air yet. The episode I think will be called "I See Dead People". I'll let y'all know since I'm obviously not above self-promotion.

i-thanks for stopping by and making yourself known.

[Chad]

So YOU'RE that guy that was stalking me all night long! Jeez! I could have sworn it was Jake Gyllenhaal.

But I should have known... you didn't have two dogs.

And you weren't hiking down Runyan. Or screaming, "I wish I could quit you!" God, that gets so annoying. Every. Single. Time. I. Go. Hiking.

And don't forget, you have to stay at least fifty feet away from Vartan at all times. The courts insist upon it.

[Mercury]

You're damn lucky. I've seen Vartan before in person as I told you - incendiary. :)

So when are you on? Tonight's episode?

[Steven.]

You're not going to act like the guy in a recent post (typing out his screenplay and talking about his agent), are you?

Last thing I want is for you to spill my drink...