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March 30, 2008

Fantasy Island

Guido and I wanted to go somewhere amazing. Somewhere different. Somewhere hot, and not necessarily climate hot, but attitude hot.

And he came up with this idea: "You know what would be hot? Going to a restaurant around here, order a mojito, take a sip and say 'You know, that's a pretty good mojito. It's good. But I don't know: I still think my favorite mojito was the one we had in Havana. You know, the same one that was Ernest Hemingway's favorite. That was a great mojito. Now that's hot, right?"

He was right. But clearly, some problems with that plan, like the whole not being allowed to travel to that country. Sucks.

But still, I like to imagine going to a similar country, a similar island country in the Caribbean called Muba, because unlike the other country, Muba wouldn't be restricted to American tourism.

***

It's a beautiful country, Muba, as is it's capital Mavana, or at least it had been in the past--before the revolution. The city ends in the north with a wall called the Malecon which keeps the sea from spilling over onto the main avenue during high tide--a task not too well accomplished. At night the waves crash against the wall, sending over a spray of salt water onto the adjacent asphalt turning it into a mirror perfectly reflecting the moon. Surprisingly, the water doesn't detract the locals from congregating, sitting atop that wall in groups at all hours of the night. Then again, hanging out at the Malecon is one of the few distractions that the Mubans can afford.

On the other side of the street are beautiful pastel facades that look over the street, past the Malecon and out onto the bay of Mavana. At least one could look out over all this if the buildings were anything more than a facade. From the wall, anyone could see that almost the whole stretch of oceanside property was uninhabitable. The art deco and neoclassical facades were faded by salt and sun, and the plaster was chipped away in places revealing the underlying brick. Many were in such poor shape that makeshift buttresses made of 2 by 4's were erected in an attempt to prevent complete collapse of the buildings.

The whole city is like that, with vestiges of a once wealthy and cosmopolitan city, but now left to decay. There is no money for the upkeep, and to make matters worse, the people of the city, unable to afford repairs go to these buildings taking what supplies and resources they can pillage for use in their own homes. It's a vicious cycle.

There is much to see in the city--the two little bars frequented by Hemingway. The Floridita when he was in the mood of a daiquiri is still in a time warp; the bar and the booth seating have not been updated since at least the 50s. The Bodeguita is his tavern of choice of a mojito. It's a quaint bar, tiny. But upstairs is nice, overlooking the street, and the cajun food is to die for. There's the capital building, the various monuments, the Christopher Columbus necropolis.

And then there's the thing that many go to see--the cars. The still functioning, well-maintained antiques with the gaudy fins and bucket seats. The city is like a forty year old ex-high school cheerleader or ex-high school quarterback, reliving the best time of its life, the 1940s and 50's, though it's been many years since its popularity.

cont'd

March 29, 2008

Week In Review '08.13

Guess who's ba-aack?

3/22 - So you know what's worse than leaving a club and thinking "why the fuck is the sky so light out?" then realizing it's because it's 5:30 in the morning?

It's having to do the walk of shame two hours later. You know what's worse than that?

Doing the walk of shame because of someone who you tried to get it on with only to discover that he had swamp ass (combination of hot, humid weather and really hairy butt cheeks). You know what's worse than that?

Doing the walk of shame in a foreign country and a city with which you're not particularly familiar and getting the fuck lost. You know what's worse than that?

Finally getting to your hotel and realizing you only have an hour to pack before you take off for the airport. You know what's worse than that?

A two hour delay for the first leg of your trip and a one hour delay for the second.

3/23 - Guido and I didn't make it in until 1:30 in the morning--three hours later than scheduled, but it didn't suck so much for us as it did for Sunshine and his wife who had been waiting at the airport to pick us up from 11:00 pm. We made it up to them by picking up their tab for dinner when we went to Blowfish Sushi along with Razor Burn, his girlfriend Unicorn and Guido's sorta girlfriend the Spaniard.

3/24 - First day back to work from vacation sucks major ass! To make matters worse, I'd been looking forward to a session with my personal trainer, but the dumb ass forgot to schedule me for Monday. I'm going to get fat just in time for pool party weather! And rather than just go to the gym on my own, I ended up going home and doing laundry.

3/25 - I got done with work as quickly as possible. Had to meet up with the boys. Actually the whole group of straights (+ me) has just gotten a bit bigger with the addition of Unicorn and two of Guido's friends, one of whom is beginning to date Dirty Sanchez. We all met up for dinner at Chan Darae before heading off to the Roxy to see Candlebox.

Now here's the thing, I'm not a big fan of theirs or Clutch. The only concert that I was psyched about all of us going to was Howie Day. He was my choice. Clutch was Guido's choice. Candlebox, Razor Burn's. For me the latter two weren't so much for the music as it was for the company. That said, holy shit Candlebox was awesome. I have never seen a front man with so much charisma and stage presence as well as a powerful as hell voice. And now, ask me to go to a Candlebox show, I will go without any hesitation.

3/26 - After a week and a half, I finally got in a good work out, then vegged at home to TiVo and comic books.

3/27 - Half day at job #1. Few hours of job #2, again playing catch up for work accumulated during vacation. But here's the good part. Remember Smooth, the guy with whom I've had one and only date and with whom I'm totally smitten, we hung out a little at his gym. He invited me to work out there and hang out while he was working. So I know, not ideal. He's actually a busy guy, busier than me believe it or not, but he says his schedule will chill out a bit after the beginning of the month. Oh my God! I am so down the path of battered and neglected wife, aren't I?

After that, I went home. Home being O-Bar to meet up with Dutch, Fishering, M@, et al. Trying to stay away from carbs and alcohol. Four margaritas don't count, right? Right!?

3/28 - Shit. Not only a full day at job #1, but also a publicity function for job #2 immediately afterward. Ugh!

March 20, 2008

R & R

OK after five days of stuff I can´t talk about, but will likely in the near future anyway, I´m back in my home away from home Playa del Carmen where it´s hot both temperature-wise and boy-wise.  Damn!!!!!  I´ll be back on regular blogging schedule in a few days.  Till then, be well.

March 15, 2008

Week In Review '08.11

3/8 - The date. Mmmm. The date.

3/9 - The wait. Oh and Guido. He came over to do the only social activity I had for this Sunday. Sadly it was only laundry and a movie on DVD. Oh and there was the wait--for Smooth to call or text (well OK he texted, but it was very terse).

3/10 - Work. Work out. I actually think that the personal training is starting to show results. Then went over to hang out a bit at Dutch's new place where we got to talk about Smooth. Hmm. Obsessing much? So much so that I actually had a bout of insomnia. 3 hours sleep.

3/11 - By the end of the work day, I still hadn't heard from Smooth. Razor Burn and Sunshine called to take me out for dinner. It's nice to know that people have your back. Of course I broke down and left a message for Smooth.

3/12 - OK...no more rehashing what's alredy been blogged about. Besides I actually had a great day at work. As much as I bitch about this patient or that patient or my schedule or drug reps ad infinitum, I had one of those days where patient after patient I actually felt connected and felt as though what I did made a positive difference. It was a good day. Also had a good session with my trainer. He's got me on a cutting cycle so I can get ripped and beach ready for my vacation. Once again insomnia and 3 hours sleep.

3/13 - Half day at job #1. No clients at job #2, but decided to go up because of my date that didn't happen. At 5:30, met up with Razor Burn and Sunshine at Guido's apartment then took off as a group to Chan Dara for dinner.

We tried to get to the Henry Fonda Theater by 7:30 to get to the show on time. We were seeing one of Guido's favorite bands Clutch perform. Here's the thing, he didn't realize that they didn't take stage until 10:45, after three other bands. Holy shit I was fucking tired. Especially since I didn't get home until 1:00 am.

Oh, and Smooth actually called in the afternoon to apologize for flaking. Then texted at 11:00 pm again to apologize. I actually don't know what I should do. I hate the dating game.

3/14 - I'm either retarded or brilliant. After getting to bed at 2:00 I was so considering calling in sick, but it would have looked too contrived. So I got up and got to the office only ten minutes late. I did about an hour's worth of work, writing letters informing patients of their lab results before I checked my schedule and realized that nothing was booked. Turns out I actually had taken the day off so I didn't have to stress about packing for my trip, which if you're reading this on Saturday, I have already begun.

I had my last chance workout with my trainer, then met up with some friends for happy hour at Tengu.

Take care peeps and hopefully, I'll be back in a week.

March 14, 2008

Start to Finish

Thursday - He's cute. I'm interested. I run away.

Friday - I find my balls and ask him out via e-mail. He writes back with his phone number. We talk and set up a date.

Saturday - A really, really good date.

Sunday - I text him. Probably too soon I know. He responds after a few hours "Talk to u soon."

Monday - I'm anxious. If by anxious you mean basket case.

Tuesday - 6:00 pm I leave a voicemail to see if he was available for lunch on Thursday. "I'll be in the area anyway."

Wednesday - 11:00 am he calls back. He worked til 9:00 the night before. He gives me his work number to call him on Thursday so we can have lunch at 1:00 tomorrow

Thursday - 12:15 He's stepped out of the office for a little bit. I leave a message to let him know I'm on my way. A little early. 1:00 his secretary says he's on the other line. 2:00 pm I'm pissed cause I'm having lunch on my own. 2:15 pm he calls, apologizes, work got busy, and he only just checked his messages. "I just didn't want you to think I blew you off. It wasn't my intent."

"No worries," I tell him. "No big deal."

I lie.

Dating sucks.

March 13, 2008

First Date

The last good first date I had was with Injun. We dated for about three months. That was the last good date--one of my favorite restaurants, music that played overhead, conversation that just flowed freely and easily. After dinner we walked down Santa Monica Blvd. hand in hand, occassionally one pushing the other into doorways or alcoves to sneak in a quick but passionate kiss.

That was a good date.

Saturday? Not so much.

I didn't know the area at all. The restaurant recommendation came from an employee. "It's like a Hollywood or Beverly Hills restaurant...but here." I'm now convinced she's never set foot in either city. She's also fired the next time I see her. It was a theme restaurant--a Cuban theme restaurant. And it was in a strip mall. I admit, it was a nice strip mall, but it's like saying "It's incest, but at least it's the prettiest cousin."

And there was the conversation. It was a little stilted. For a while, I felt like I was conducting an interview. I couldn't tell if he was enjoying himself. He sometimes felt absent from the conversation. Sometimes he'd start a sentence and then say "nevermind." It apparently wasn't appropriate; it was something that would have to wait til later, he'd tell me. So that was dinner. From 6:00 pm to 7 pm.

We just kind of looked at each other. "It's still pretty early, huh." This was going from tepid to cold in no time flat. No one brought up just ending the date, so that was I guess a good sign. But despite the fact that we both worked in the area, neither of us knew the area. We couldn't figure out what to do.

So he decided to have him take me on a tour of the gym he manages. Whoop dee do. Nothing says romantic more than take-a-date-to-work, right. I went along with it though. I pretended I was interested. And then something came over me. I stopped him. In the kids' nursery, I stopped him. And I kissed him. And he kissed back. We stayed like that for a few minutes before realizing we were in full view of the plate glass windows that looked out onto a public street.

We got back in the car. He got more bold, telling me how his legs and abs were smooth. They were. I liked it.

And throughout the entirely of The Other Boleyn Girl (longest fucking movie ever and frankly I can't even remember if it actually ended or if we just took off), we sat next to each other, arm rest pulled up, holding hands.

So it turned out to not be a good date. Not by typical good date standards. But it did turn out to be a very memorable date.

Oh I forgot, after the movie, we walked back to the gym, now completely empty and did stuff in a storage closet that would get him fired if his bosses knew.

Did I mention very memorable date? Only maybe not for him.

March 12, 2008

Crazy

I am certifiable. I've decided. Just plain batshit crazy.

I mean all day I was thankful that patients kept coming in. I needed to be busy, the busier the better. Cause when I had even a second to sit down at my desk, I'd check my email. Refresh. Refresh. Nothing.

Or I'd check my phone. Maybe I didn't feel it vibrate or something, but no. Nothing. But when I did feel it go off, in my head an instinctive little prayer went out to wherever prayers go. Please let it be him. Please let it be him. Please let it be him. Not him.

The sad thing is that if it wasn't him, it was Razor Burn or Sunshine asking for an update or offering advice. Yes, I'd pulled them into my whole Van brand of crazy.

But so far, nothing. Not from him anyway. Not after the text. I texted him the day after our date. "I had a great time. Let me know when you have some free time to hang out again. Have a good day!" It screamed I was interested. It announced that I wanted to spend more time and I wanted to make plans. And I wished him a good day.

Maybe it was too much. I mean I e-mailed him and made the first move. I took him out to dinner. And I texted him first. Maybe it was too much.

And his response: "Sounds good. Talk to u soon. Smooth" It didn't scream he was interested. It didn't announce that he wanted to spend more time and wanted to make plans. And he didn't wish me a good day.

So yeah, there it is. My personal brand of crazy.

But I kind of thought he was into it when we made out in a storage closet at the gym on our first date. I thought that meant that he liked me. Maybe I am just crazy.

How much am I hating myself right now for being such a douchebag? Kind of a lot. Yeah, fucking totally crazy.

(written two days after the date...did I mention crazy?)

March 11, 2008

Liar, Liar

My schedule was full. Par for the course, really. I almost can't remember the days when I had to see less than twenty five patients. It almost doesn't matter though. Not when there are emergencies.

"Dr. V. This guy says he feels funny and his blood pressure is 210/110. Your next available appointment is in two days. What do you want me to tell him?"

In cases like this what I want is never an option. Tell him to come in right now. Just double book him.

The morning continued as usual until his arrival. "That patient's here Dr. V," she said as she handed me his chart.

I quickly glanced at the nurse's notes. Vitals looked ok. Blood pressure was borderline elevated at 145/87. Definitely not an emergency. And then I scanned down to the chief complaint--can't sleep.

I walked into the room, like a teapot about to blow. "Sir, I think there must be some confusion here. When my nurse arranged this appointment I was under the impression that it was for high blood pressure, but the nurse wrote that you wanted me to address a problem with insomnia."

"Yes, I couldn't sleep at all last night. I kept tossing and turning and I needed..."

I cut him off, "No, no, no. You don't seem to understand. I have you double booked because of what was supposed to be a medical emergency."

"Well, I've had high blood pressure before, but you see I'm leaving on a trip on Friday and they said you wouldn't be able to see me until next week, and I wanted to make sure I had some sleeping pills so that..."

He clearly didn't get it. And sadly, a lot of people don't get it. It has become increasingly more common for people to lie about their complaints to ensure that they get seen regardless of how minimal the problem is.

And I had to fight the urge to point a finger to him and yell as loudly as I possible could "You Fucking Liar! LIAR!"

There's something wrong about a culture where people's idea of appropriate behavior is so far askew, where it's ok to lie to get what you want irrespective of how it may affect others (not just me, but the other patients who now have to wait).

There's no other point to this than for me to just vent because I'm fucking tired to being everyone's bitch. And because I'm scared that I may be on the path to becoming one of those asshole doctors that, til now, I've resented.

March 10, 2008

The Button

Just press the button.

I am a gutless turd! I know it. Don't feel sorry for me. I own it. Total gutless turd. I've convinced myself that I shouldn't have to make the first move because if and when the universe decides to pair me up with someone, then the universe would find some way for that someone to make the first move. Make sense? Well, in my mind, the logic is as solid as steel.

Turns out there's a fly in that ointment. Turns out that at thirty-eight, I'm still single. Not that big a deal though because with very few exceptions, all of my friends are similarly solo. Or up until recently, that is.

A few weeks ago, I went to see Howie Day with some friends, invited by a friend of Guido's and that friend's girlfriend. Guido invited the Spaniard. They've started seeing each other and hanging out pretty frequently. Razor Burn was also invited, and obviously he brought his Unicorn. They've started using the official designations recently--boyfriend and girlfriend. I wouldn't be surprised if they got married. Guido's friend's roommate also came, as did Dirty Sanchez. That was planned. It was a set up. And in the week since the concert, they've spoken at least once a day and have gone on several dates.

Oh and then there was me. It wasn't uncomfortable or anything. That group is extremely good at making sure no one feels left out. But still, it made me think that maybe my plan of waiting for my someone to make the first move needs revisiting.

So I stared at the computer screen, reviewing the terse, non-committal little email, stalling to press the send button.

Just push the fucking button!

The meeting had been Sunshine's idea. And truthfully, I was excited. "I met him last week, and as shitty as your Dar is, my Dar is spot on. And this is one good looking kid," he told me. He had gone to the hoity toity gym to talk about the possibility of cross promoting our respective business ventures with the general manager. Sunshine, friend that he is, immediately identified it as a social opportunity for me.

So there we were, this past Thursday afternoon, Sunshine and I sitting in our office when our receptionist announces him in, "Smooth, the general manager of the gym, is here to see you." Sunshine was right, the kid was cute. We took him on a tour of the facility although Sunshine found several opportunities to excuse himself. I talked business. He seemed to a little bit more: "I used to manage Blank Gym in West Hollywood a few years ago." I took it as a subtle hint that he was more about sausage than he was about fish.

Problem is, I never got a clear signal that he was at all interested. Not a one. And I couldn't figured out how to broach the subject, so I did the only thing there was for me to do. I left him at the front desk. Rather abruptly. With nothing more than a weak handshake and a "nice meeting you."

Such. A. Tool.

So here I am on a Friday. The day after having met Smooth. Staring at the computer screen and trying to muster up the courage to do the deed.

This was so unlike me. Clearly foreign territory. I stalked him a bit. Nothing on Connexion or Myspace or Facebook. Nada. But he was listed under his gym's website, complete with email address. And so I typed out the note, the kind of stupid note:

Hey,

This is Van. I met you yesterday at _______. Sorry if this is a little weird or if I misread signals, but I was wondering if you'd be interested in grabbing a drink or something.

And if I did completely misread...sorry, my bad.

Thanks,
Van

Just. Push. The. Button.


Send

March 08, 2008

Week In Review '08.10

I know. I've been remiss. But it's been crazy. Overextended at work. Overextended socially. And for the time being, it's just going to get crazier, especially with my super secret trip with Guido in only one week's time. Anyway...

3/1 - Work. But this job actually is kind of fun, especially since it involved working with some of the best friends anyone could ask for. Despite all that, I was still tired. But no sleep for the weary. I'd promised Dutch that I'd go to the grand opening of an exhibit at the Hammer Museum. Besides the booze was free, right?

3/2 - I finally had a mental holiday. Everyone should do this every once in a while. Just unplug. No internet. No phone. No friends. Just time with me. All day.

I think I'm one of those small dose type of people and won't be doing me days for a little while. Bo Ring!

3/3 - I actually had a mellow day at work. The doctor who had been on vacation for two weeks returned, as did the other who had missed a couple of days due to jury duty. On top of that, some patients didn't show up. I actually had time to grab a sushi lunch with Sunshine.

After work, I met up with my trainer who just beat the shit out of my chest.

3/4 - It had been a while since we'd had a "family dinner". That's what we've started to call them. And I couldn't have picked a more perfect day after the shit I had to deal with at work. I was livid and frankly hating patients that day. One of them had falsified symptoms when he called in the morning, making it seem as though he was having a life and death emergency when it really couldn't be any further from the truth.

So dinner at Iroha Sushi with Razor Burn, Sunshine and wife was just what the doctor ordered. Literally.

3/5 - So there I was staring out at the Pacific Ocean from the most spectacular building in Malibu, drinking wine and enjoying good food. And more importantly hanging out with amazing people. As I've always said, my life is only amazing because of the people in it. I was at the Getty Villa after hours for the opening of a new exhibit, thanks to Dutch and Fishering.

Holy shit that night was fun. I mean how much better does it get to be a little soused while trodding along corridors containing some of the most amazing artistic pieces from antiquity. And to do it with people you love (or have a teensy bit of a crush on), even better.

Funnier still is having a woman I have never met introduce me to other Getty employees as "Van, you know, the pubic hair doctor." She doesn't read this blog but she claims to hear about it. So let me say this right here, right now--Ann, you rock my world. I think I'm in love with you!

3/6 - It was Thursday Double Duty Day. Half day at Job #1. Half day at Job #2. OK for a number of reasons Job #2 was pretty kick ass that day, thanks in no small part to my straights looking out for me. Check back on Monday. It's just too much to tell in a couple of sentences.

No O-Bar that night. I had made plans for dinner with Tiger and G2.

3/7 - What do you do after a day of telling a patient and his four adult children that he has a shitty, shitty cancer whose prognosis is less than 6 months? Try to forget about it by blowing off steam with a trainer then meeting up with friends. Here was the line up--Guido and his girlfriend (?), the Spaniard, Razor Burn and his girlfriend Unicorn (who I totally, totally, totally love), Sunshine and wife, a random friend of Razor Burn's (not gay) and me. Hmm, two of these things are not like the others. Two of these things do not belong. Actually, it was still a shitload of fun at The Mint watching a friend of a friend perform.

That's it for now. So. Tired.