Breaking Up

December 2007.  That's when we started.  Hard to believe that it's been over a year.  

I love that when I get to his house, he already has a drink waiting for me.  He's a great listener.  He asks how my day has been and what's been on my mind.  I love how every time, if there's a lull in the conversation he says, "Tell me a story."  He tells me I look good when I feel otherwise.  And he's one person who, in that regard, I believe because he'll also call me out when he knows I've not been quite so good at staying away from chips.  And he gives the best back rubs.  

So it's been over a year.  And I've grown.  I've learned.  And now I feel bad.  I feel bad because I know I need to tell him that it's over.  I've tried.  I've gone to his home with every intention of telling him so, but...somehow...I don't know.  He does something or says something and I just can't.  

But for the last month or two, my head has already checked out of this relationship...and my eye has already wandered. 

So last Friday, I told him I was going on vacation.  I was going to be gone for several weeks in February, so we can continue on doing what we do until then.  But in February, I may not see him.  And I think, with the month apart and after the break in our routine, it'll be easier for me to tell him that I've decided to go it alone.  That I appreciate all he's done for me.  That at this point I'm going to work out on my own because it is just too expensive for me to keep him on as my trainer.

And this is just my trainer!  Imagine the shit I go through when I tell a guy I'm just not interested in dating him.

Comments

[dell]

You at least have to show us if he pumped you real good.

[Daniel Culveyhouse]

Interesting.. you reminded me that maybe I should shove myself into a relationship or two, just to build my break-up skills. ;) Hope you're having a great month!

[Daniel Culveyhouse]

Interesting.. you reminded me that maybe I should shove myself into a relationship or two, just to build my break-up skills. ;) Hope you're having a great month!

[Gino]

You describe the typical relatinship with a (good) personal trainer quite well, albeit I've never had a back rub with one.

This said, I've always believed that a PT is someone who's there to show you the way in stead of being a crutch.

Enjoy the vacation!

[Michael in DC]

I feel like you've broken up with me, a loyal reader, and you don't even know me....still it hurts. I hope you are well.

[Van]

Awww Michael...how sweet are you? Here's the deal...it's been five years. I hadn't really taken more than a week off. This is my break, my half decade gift to myself, to allow myself a chance to regroup and to deal with a whole lotta stuff that has come up. But it is just a break, baby. I'll be back...and sooner than you think ;)